Better Ted Than Red
With contemporary American culture as riven as it is, it’s a rare person indeed who can alienate the entire political spectrum. President Trump retains his supporters no matter how bizarre his claims, and Governor Cuomo will cruise to reelection despite his best efforts to depopulate New York’s nursing homes via serial molestation of his female staff.
The national champion for universal revulsion is (of course): James Comey. The former FBI director is despised by the right for his handling of the 2016 Hilary Clinton email controversy, and despised by the left for…um…his handling of the 2016 Hilary Clinton’s email controversy. When you’ve managed to convince all of America that you were conspiring against both presidential candidates, you’ve moved into a very unique position.
But running a close second to Comey is our very own Ted Wheeler, the feckless mayor of Portland.
I looked up the definition of “feckless” – while I didn’t see Mayor Ted’s picture, I did see an array of adjectives that certainly resonate: lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible, useless, worthless, incompetent, inept.
Seems a bit harsh, doesn’t it? And in fairness, I'd wager Mr. Wheeler is a talented and effective person in private life. But the appellation of feckless can certainly be applied to his administration. From the outset of both the pandemic and the Antifa movement, the mayor's office has demonstrated the worst trait of leadership: indecisiveness. The unwillingness to confront the mobs – either rhetorically or physically, gave Antifa the confidence it needed for an open-ended, year-long assault on Portland businesses, landmarks, and people.
Mr. Wheeler deployed an endless array of placating platitudes, in hopes that providing Antifa soothing words of respect would earn forbearance from the cosplayers of the revolution. Instead, they chased him out of his own downtown condo, forcing him to relocate under a cloud of abject humiliation. Anyone who ever read Thomas Wolfe would understand perfectly.
This should have come as no surprise – as the late, partly-lamented Donald Rumsfeld famously said: weakness is provocative...
...an expression proven across many walks of life here in the City of Roses. The mayor dismantled Portland police’s gang violence task force only to reinstate it after murders of African-Americans in PDX shot up 800%, the ensuing carnage as avoidable as it was predictable. Similarly inept posturing on issues ranging from homelessness to trash collection accelerated his administration's contribution to this lovely town’s decline.
In less that 24 months, Portland has gone from America’s most hip city to a national joke – beyond the ability of even Portlandia to satirize: The Dream of the ’90s Died in Portland.
To see His Honor in his own words, check out this local report from KOIN:
Mr. Wheeler has landed in the Comey zone: held in contempt by the street-theater left, and with disdain by everyone else who just wants to Make Portland Livable Again.
Last fall, Mayor Ted ran for reelection. I gave serious thought to his pro-Antifa opponent: Sarah Iannarone. Say what you will about her politics, you have to stand in awe of her committment: anyone running for office in clothes emblazoned with pictures of Stalin is definitely down with the cause.
And if we're going to go down anyway, why not do so in flames?
Still, as one of the seven libertarians remaining within the city’s borders, I couldn’t quite cast a ballot for her. And so I voted for Ted "Human Weather Vane" Wheeler. It's like the choice between hospital food and airline food - which one will kill you slower?